What a year!

So much has changed in a year! Last year I was literally so, so scared. I still remember leaving work and heading to the doctors because my headaches wouldn't stop & next thing I knew my doctor was admitting me to the hospital because my blood pressure was sky high. I was so scared because I didn't know what to expect. I just wanted the baby to be okay. It's scary when you don't know what could happen.

I remember crying my eyes out to the doctor in the room when he was explaining everything to me. I love my doctor and I am so glad he was able to calm me down somewhat.

I remember calling Jeremy as soon as I walked out of the doctor's office & not being able to speak because I started crying so hard again. 

I remember rushing home to take a shower before Jeremy got home because I didn't know what was going to happen! Maybe the baby was coming today!

I remember calling my mom & sister and still not being able to talk because I was crying. I'm pretty sure I cried the whole night. 

I remember getting into the hospital & started immediately having contractions. 

I remember those awful terb shots to stop the contractions & how they gave me hot flashes & made me all jittery. 

I remember me still wanting to go natural & how in the hell could I do that if they were stopping my contractions & going to induce me?

I remember sleeping in that horrible hospital bed with a big ole belly and nowhere to move.
I remember getting to see her precious face through an awesome hospital ultrasound to make sure she was okay. 

 I remember this contraction & it hurt- little did I know that what was about to come within the next week would be 100x worse.

And then I remember being sent home for the next week. To rest. To lay on the couch and do absolutely nothing.
Being able to feel every kick that I would know to miss..

Being pregnant & carrying a human inside you is a miracle & so scary the entire time. It's even scarier being a mom. 

I don't think you can fully understand what it's like to love someone so incredibly much that there are no words to express it until you become a mom.

This was us a year ago today.

and this is us today. 

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