Dear 16 year old..

4) List 10 things you would tell your 16 year old self, if you could.

Oh boy...here we go!

1) Don't settle for what you think is 'love'. You're 16. You have a ton of growing up to do.
2) Go to school.
3) Make good grades.
4) Stop partying and focus.

5) You don't need a man in your life.

6) Make awesome girlfriends & go out- have fun.
7) Stop disrespecting your parents.
8) Get involved in a sport & stick with it.
9) Earn yourself a full ride scholarship.
10) BE 16 & HAVE FUN!

My relationship with my parents.

3) Describe your relationship with your parents.

Well...my relationship with my mom is going well now. We had a few rough years though. In her defense, I was a little devil child. I didn't listen to her & rebelled every chance I had. When I turned 15 things starting turning around & she became my best friend. We still have our days and don't agree on much, but I know she's here for me & will have my back. She's the ONLY person that makes sure I don't mind if Rylee has something not so healthy for her. Sometimes I feel as if she doesn't act like a grandparent, but oh well. You can't have your cake & eat it too, right?

And my dad? We've had A LOT of rough years. I remember when I was little & my mom would make me go over there & I hated it.  He would go to the bars & either take me or leave me at home by myself. He would come home sometime late in the middle of the night/early morning. We had our good days too, though. I remember going to the bowling alley every Sunday and seeing who would win (he always beat me.) I lived with him for a few years & he was awesome. Then he had a rough patch and has never seemed to get over that...still. :/ I miss him. I haven't spoke/saw him since October & it makes me sad. We stopped talking on not so great terms & Jeremy keeps telling me "he should be the one to contact you." I don't know..I believe it takes two people, but he's dicked me over in a lot of ways so I do feel like it's his turn. When I went to trade my car in (my 1st car) I found out he had taken out a second loan on it & they had a lien since he wasn't paying it. I was 16 when we bought this car so only his name was on it. I ended up having to fork out the amount to pay this second loan off or I wouldn't be able to trade my car in. Oh and another thing? One morning I woke up for work and my car was GONE! I called the police because I thought someone had stolen it & come to find out they came and repoed it because my dad was not paying his other truck payment..even though my car was UP TO DATE on payments! 

 our 'better' days.

My step-dad- well, not really my step-dad..more like 'my moms boyfriend for 12 years- now turned ex.' He is an awesome dad figure to me. He's actually interacted more with Rylee than her blood grandfather has.  He's been there for me through it all. I love, love, love him. 

Wow..this was a lot longer than I expected. :/

3 fears

 Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

1) I fear of something happening to Rylee.

I will be honest & tell y'all that I didn't think much about SIDS or any other horrifying accidents that could happen until after I had Rylee. Once she was here, I found a few blogs that were, unfortunately, documenting their experience with SIDS. I instantly became heartbroken because I could not imagine. Now with #2 I'm seriously buying every item out there that I can to hopefully help notify me if anything were to happen if, god forbid, #2 stopped breathing. It gives me chills thinking about it & I hope I never have to go through that. 

2)  I fear someone walking in my house & robbing us or something worse.

Any time I'm home alone, I dread it. Having Diesel helps a bit, but he acts like a guard dog until we open the door & then he runs and starts sniffing people everywhere.  I hear about all of these stories where they're home alone & a robber breaks in & kills them. I'm so scared of that. We don't own a gun. Some days I want to get licensed & go buy one, but I'm scared that if this were to happen would I really use it? I don't know. I suppose I would if I or my family was in danger, but it's such a tough decision.

3) I fear of someone close to me passing away.

My grandparents are only getting older & older. I'm so scared  that something is going to happen to one of them & I'm just not ready for it. Are you ever ready though? The last person to pass away that was close to me was my grandpa and I was 10- so it's been a long time. :/ 

I don't like thinking about fears.

17 MONTHS!

Click to enlarge

My sweet girl...you're 17 months & I just can't believe it!

Nothing much has changed the past month. 

You still say the same words. 

You're such an AWESOME sleeper- falling asleep all by yourself now. 

I'm very proud of you. 

Every time I come home from going somewhere without you (very few and far in between), you run up to me with the biggest smile & your arms stretched so far out. I love it! It's probably the cutest thing ever.

You're going to be such an awesome big sister. You will probably act like little mama bear. =)

You take after Diesel...a lot.
 If you see a piece of food on the floor you get on
& get it with your mouth. :/ 

Happy 17 months baby girl! 

20 random facts

Chelsea blogged about doing this list for 30 days. It seems neat & a way for everyone to get to know me better that wants to. I want to read about everyone so do this too!

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for

 

20 randoms 

1) I love Maryland Fried Chicken (I realize fried chicken isn't good for you so that's why I only get this on occasion.)

2) I wanted to make sure Rylee had a close age sibling because my sister & I are 6 years apart and never got along. 

3) I LOVE sweets. 

4) I have no relationship with my biological father.

5) My favorite color is pink.

6) I love getting a pedicure/manicure at least once a month.

7) I get my hair colored/cut every 6 weeks. on.the.dot. 

8) I DVR Dr.Phil everyday and love his show.

9) I'm dreading wearing maternity clothes again.

10) I have a shopping problem.  

11) I still don't have an iphone. (No worries, my friends, my contract is up in a few weeks & I will be getting one!)

12) I want to move...now.

13) I love fresh green beans.

14) I only let Rylee have organic milk.

15)  I've never been to California & want to go so badly!

16) We will be taking the rugrats on a Disney Cruise in a few years.

17) I have fake boobies. (shocker or no?) 

18) Once I'm done breastfeeding #2 I will be getting my girls perked back up.

19) I wish I had not cut my hair so short.

20) Rylee has more Toms than I do. :/ 

Little miracles

First, let me start off by saying that I was really debating on publishing this post now, but what the crap. (This is from 3/1/2012)

A ton of mixed emotions started running through my head.....

........

Today, this morning at 7:30am I found out I was pregnant with #2. 

Obviously I knew it was a possibility when getting my freak on, 

but I think that very moment you get a + on a pregnancy test you freak out. 

(At least in my experience)

Such a faint, faint line, but it's there.

In fact, I keep going back to the test & looking to make sure the line didn't disappear. ;)

I was going to wait and tell your daddy, but I couldn't. I gave your big sister the test & she walked outside with it. Daddy looked at us and said "what is that in your hand? that doesn't look good. Come here Rylee and give that to daddy, that's very important." Then he looks at the test and says "oh, you're not pregnant the line isn't dark enough." He did NOT believe me. Silly boys. He just doesn't know that a line, is a line, no matter how faint it is.

In order for your daddy to believe me, I had to take 4 tests, he had to take one & a digital one. Yes, you read that right, you're daddy had to take a test & guess what? He still didn't believe me until I broke down & bought a digital one. 

It's still VERY, VERY early & for this reason we won't tell everyone until you're further along growing. 

In fact, I haven't even missed my period yet. 

Still 4 days away. 

You're due on 11/11/12 (unofficially)

As of today, you are 3 weeks 4 days along. 

As a matter of fact- I posted this little reply in my mom group yesterday (before I found out I was pregnant with you.) "i have really smelly farts here today. it's gross. i remember having bad gas before i found out i was preggo with rylee- so maybe this is a good sign for me! ha ha." HA HA! Poor Jeremy.

I didn't find out with your big sister until she was 6 weeks.

This is a bit nerve wracking & I have a million & one questions that I want to be answered.

I decided to post this blog because I need somewhere to write about everything so if you're on my personal facebook page PLEASE keep this quiet until you see a post..thank you! :)

Our version of CIO..

When Rylee was smaller we never did 'CIO'. In fact, I didn't really like the whole idea of it & couldn't imagine doing it.

As she got older it's harder to put her to sleep (mainly for naps.) I decided it was time to CIO (crying it out) and let her learn that she has to fall asleep on her own. It's hard when someone else watches her & she won't fall asleep for them. This has probably been the hardest part of parenting, so far.

I want to keep track of this so I know with #2 we need to teach her/him to fall asleep on their own early on & not wait until they get older. 

Day # 1

Nap time was okay. She cried for about 5 minutes. I jumped in the shower & by the time I was out she had stopped crying. Never went to sleep, but never started crying again. I finally got her out after 1 hour and 30 minutes. 

Bed time was pretty successful. I'm sure she was exhausted from not napping today, but we put her in the crib after her milk & she cried for 30 seconds & by the time I turned the monitor on she was laying on her tummy passed out. 

I would say day #1 was pretty successful.

Day #2

Nap time wasn't so great today. She cried for the first 5-10 minutes. Then she started throwing everything out of her crib and started playing. She fussed on & off for about 1 hour and 20 minutes. Then, she started playing again for about 5 minutes. I look back over at the monitor & she's passed out laying on her back. Thank you jesus. So, overall it had taken 1 hour and 35 minutes before she went to sleep. She actually slept for 1.5 hours. I would say this was more successful than yesterday because at least she fell asleep!

Bed time was a success again! She cried for 30 or so seconds, scooted around a bit and fell right asleep! Score!!

Day #3
Nap time was a lot better today. She was put in her crib at 11:46 and she cried, played and fussed a little & fell asleep at 12:19! She woke up at 1 and started crying. =( I left her in there because I know that a 40 minute nap is not going to cut it all day. She fussed until 1:20 and fell back asleep. This is already getting easier & making both of our lives a lot better!

Bed time was a breeze ( and I think it will be this way! ) You laid down within 3 minutes and you were passed out!

Day #4

Nap time was a complete success. You cried for 1 minute, laid down & went right to sleep. Thank you sweet baby for making this easy on mama.

I stopped taking notes because this has REALLY worked for us & she is now settling down within a couple minutes & falling right asleep. This has definitely been the best decision ever!