Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Everyone should read this

A friend of mine posted this the other day and normally I don't read stuff like this, but it caught my attention since our anniversary is next week. It's worth reading.

When I first dated the woman I ended up marrying, I always held her hand. In the car. While walking. At meals. At movies. It didn’t matter where. Over time, I stopped. I made up excuses like my hand was too hot or it made me sweat or I wasn’t comfortable with it in public. Truth was, I stopped holding hands because I stopped wanting to put in the effort to be close to my wife. No other reason.
I’d hold her hand in the car. I’d hold her hand on a star. I’d hold her hand in a box. I’d hold her hand with a fox. And I’d hold her hand everywhere else, too, even when we didn’t particularly like each other for the moment.
When you hold hands in the winter, they don’t get cold. True story.

Obviously when I was working to woo her, I would do myself up as attractively as I possibly could every time I saw her. I kept perfectly groomed. I always smelled good. I held in my farts until she wasn’t around. For some reason, marriage made me feel like I could stop doing all that. I would get all properly groomed, smelling good, and dressed up any time we went out somewhere or I went out by myself, but I rarely, if ever, cared about making myself attractive just for her.
I’d try and put my best foot forward throughout our entire marriage. I’d wait to fart until I was in the bathroom whenever possible. I’d make myself desirable so that she would desire me.
When you trim your man hair, guess what. She returns the favor.

For some reason, somewhere along the way, I always ended up feeling like it was my place to tell her where she was weak and where she could do better. I sure as heck didn’t do that while we were dating. No, when I dated her I only built her up, only told her how amazing she was, and easily looked past all of her flaws. After we got married though, she sometimes couldn’t even cook eggs without me telling her how she might be able to improve.
I wouldn’t say a damned thing about anything that I thought could use improvement. I’ve learned since my marriage ended that there is more than one right way to do most things, and that the imperfections of others are too beautiful to try and change.
When you tell her what she’s doing right, she’ll tell you what you’re doing right. And she’ll also tell her friends. And her family. And the dentist. And even strangers on the street.

I knew how to woo a girl, for sure. And the ticket was usually a night in, cooking a nice meal and having a romantic evening. So why is it then, that I didn’t do that for her after we got married? Sure, I’d throw some canned soup in the microwave or fry up some chimichangas once in a while, but I rarely if ever went out of my way to sweep her off her feet after we were married by steaming crab legs, or making fancy pasta, or setting up a candlelit table.
I’d make it a priority to cook for her, and only her, something awesome at least every month. And I’d remember that meat in a can is never awesome.
Candlelit dinners often lead to candlelit bow chica bow-wow.

I’m not talking about the angry kind of yelling. I’m talking about the lazy kind of yelling. The kind of yelling you do when you don’t want to get up from your television show or you don’t want to go ALL THE WAY UPSTAIRS to ask her if she’s seen your keys. It really doesn’t take that much effort to go find her, and yelling (by nature) sounds demanding and authoritative.
I’d try to go find her anytime I needed something or wanted to know something, and I’d have both gratitude and manners when I did. I always hated when she would yell to me, so why did I always feel it was okay to yell to her?
Sometimes you catch her doing something cute that you would have missed otherwise.

I always felt I was the king of not calling names, but I wasn’t. I may not have called her stupid, or idiot, or any of the other names she’d sometimes call me, but I would tell her she was stubborn, or that she was impossible, or that she was so hard to deal with. Names are names, and calling them will drive bigger wedges in communication than just about anything else.
Any time it got to the point that I wanted to call names, I’d call a time-out and come back to it later. Or better yet, I’d call her names, but they’d be names like “super sexy” or “hotness.” Even in the heat of the moment.
She’ll call you names in better places. Like the bedroom.

As the main bread earner, I was always so stingy with the money. I’d whine about the cost of her shampoo or that she didn’t order water at restaurants, or that she’d spend so much money on things like pedicures or hair dye jobs. But seriously. I always had just as many if not more things that I spent my money on, and in the end, the money was spent, we were just fine, and the only thing my bitching and moaning did was bring undo stress to our relationship.
I’d tell her I trusted her to buy whatever she wanted, whenever she felt like she needed it. And then, I’d actually trust her to do it.
Sometimes she will make bad purchase decisions, which leads to makeup purchase decisions. Like that new gadget you’ve had your eyes on.

There was never any argument that was so important or pressing that we couldn’t wait to have it until the kids weren’t there. I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist or super-shrink to know why fighting in front of the kids is a dangerous and selfish way of doing things.
I would never, ever, not even once fight in front of the kids, no matter how big or how small the issue was. I’d maybe make a code word that meant, “not with the kids here.”
When you wait to fight, usually you both realize how stupid or unimportant the fight was and the fight never happens.

I always thought it was love to tell my spouse, “I don’t care if you don’t take care of yourself. I don’t care if you don’t exercise. I don’t care if you let yourself go.” But that was lying, and it was lying when she said it to me because the truth is, we did care and I wish that we would have always told each other how sexy and attractive the other was any time we’d go workout or do something to become healthier.
I’d ask her to tell me that she cared. I’d ask her to encourage me to go to the gym. I’d ask her to remind me of my goals and tell me I’m strong enough to keep them.
Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. And happy people don’t kill other people. (Name that movie!)

I don’t know why, but at some point I started thinking it was okay to poop with the bathroom door open, and so did she. First of all, it’s gross. Second of all, it stinks everything up. Third of all, there is literally no way to make pooping attractive, which means that every time she saw me do it, she, at least in some little way, would have thought I was less attractive.
I’d shut the damn door and poop in private.
When she does think of your naked body, she’s not going to be thinking about it in a grunting/squatting position.

It always got to a point when I’d more or less stop kissing her. Usually it was because things were stressful and there was tension in our relationship, and so I’d make it worse by refusing to kiss her. This of course would lead to her feeling rejected. Which would of course lead to arguments about it. Other times I had my own issues with germs and whatnot.
I’d kiss her in the morning when she looked like people do in the morning. I’d kiss her at night when she’s had a long day. I’d kiss her any time I felt like she secretly wanted a kiss. And, I’d kiss her even when my germ issues kicked in.
She feels loved when you kiss her. That’s bonus enough.

Age shouldn’t matter. Physical ability shouldn’t matter. Couples should never stop having fun with each other, and I really wish I wouldn’t have gotten into so many ruts in which we didn’t really go out and do anything. And, I’ve been around the block enough times to know that when the fun is missing, and the social part of life is missing, so also goes missing the ability to be fully content with each other.
I’d make a rule with her that we’d never stay home two weekends in a row.
Awesome stories and awesome memories come from doing awesome things. And so do cherished embarrassing moments.

Pressuring each other about anything is always a recipe for resentment. I always felt so pressured to make more money. I always felt so pressured to not slip in my religion. I always felt so pressured to feel certain ways about things when I felt the opposite. And I usually carried a lot of resentment. Looking back, I can think of just as many times that I pressured her, so I know it was a two-way street.
I’d make it a point to celebrate the different views, opinions, and ways that she had of doing things. I’d find the beauty in differentiation, not the threat.
Authentic happiness becomes a real possibility. And so do authentic foot rubs.

Sometimes the easiest phrases to say in my marriage started with one of three things. Either, “you should have,” “you aren’t,” or “you didn’t.” Inevitably after each of those seemed to come something negative. And since when have negative labels ever helped anyone? They certainly never helped her. Or me. Instead, they seemed to make the action that sparked the label worsen in big ways.
I would learn to stop myself before saying any of those phrases, and then I’d switch them out for positive labels. Instead of “you should,” I’d say “you are great at.” Instead of saying “you aren’t,” I’d say “you are.” Instead of saying “you didn’t,” I’d say, “you did.” And then I’d follow it up with something positive.
The noblest struggles become far more conquerable. And you don’t think or believe that you’re a schmuck, which is always nice.

It was so easy in marriage to veto so many of the things she enjoyed doing. My reasoning, “we can find things we both enjoy.” That’s lame. There will always be things she enjoys that I will never enjoy, and that’s no reason not to support her in them. Sometimes the only thing she needs is to know that I’m there.
I’d attend many more of the events that she invited me to. I would actively participate and not tell all the reasons why I’d do it differently or how it could be better or more fun or time better spent.
Go to something she knows you don’t enjoy and the gratitude gets piled on later that night, like whipped cream on a cheesecake.

I never got to experience the power of make-up sex because any time my wife was mean or we got in a fight, I’d completely distance myself from her, usually for several days. Communication would shut down and I’d avoid contact at all cost. This never let things get worked out, and eventually after it had happened enough times I’d explode unnecessarily.
I’d let myself communicate my emotions and feelings more often, and I’d make sure that she knew I still loved her any time we had an ugly bout. Sure, we’d give each other some distance. But not days of distance.
Fantastic make-up sex. Or at least that’s the theory.

Monday, October 29, 2012

38 weeks!

I'm so happy I'm 38 weeks! 
Only a few more to go!

I had my check up last week and I am 1-2cm dilated. eeeek!
I'm up to 162 lbs- from 124lbs. Luckily, I haven't gained any weight in the past 3 weeks- hopefully it stays that way!

I feel as big as a blimp. None of my clothes fit anymore. Waaaah. I'm too cheap to go buy anymore clothes right now since the end is so near, so I will have to work with what I have- even if that means wearing the same thing over & over.

The heartburn is out of control! It's so bad that I feel like I'm going to vomit every time my throat burns. Blah. It's only that bad at night- when I'm trying to sleep- go figure, right?

I haven't seen this babe since I was 20 weeks- 18 weeks ago! I'm anxious to see if she has lots of hair (she better), and chubby cheeks! I wonder what she weighs and who she looks like. Is she going to look like Rylee?

Will she really be a she or him? I say that because literally EVERY stranger that sees me asks if I'm having a boy. I say "no" and they're like "wow, you're carrying like it's a boy." Ummm....sooo I hope these docs were right- if not we are screwed.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

37 weeks; FULL TERM!

As of today at 1:19pm I will officially be pregnant longer than I was with Rylee! This is all so new to me. It could be any day now & it gets me excited/nervous.

Rylee has been extra clingy and crazy lately. I think she senses something is up. I hope she reacts okay (as okay can be) once Chloe's here. She loves babies so I'm really hoping for the best, but I don't know how she will be to sharing her mama.

I'm up a total of 37lbs (give or take a few.) Not too thrilled about it, but hopefully I'll be able to lose the weight pretty easily like I did with Rylee.

I cannot wait to get back in shape & wear cute clothes again. All of my maternity clothes are becoming too tight- especially the shirts. They're at the point where they won't even cover the bottom of my belly anymore. :/

On the left is 36.5 with Rylee & on the right is Chloe. 
I was way bigger with Rylee (maybe because I was really swollen with her?) 
It has me wondering how much Chloe will weigh though (smaller?)

And if you follow me on instagram you will know that we are officially ready for the hospital!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Nursery reveal

I still have to completely finish the nursery with it's final touches, but it's pretty much done so I decided to just share the pics. I still need to get some pictures printed from our maternity shoot and a couple other small things.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Pumpkin carving

We went to the pumpkin patch a couple days ago and bought a big pumpkin to carve! We had bought one a while back, but it was too small for the carving we wanted to do- so we just carved the one we had for fun & we'll do the big one in a couple days.

Rylee loved picking up the pumpkins & was a little confused as to what they were- ha ha.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

36w and a little update

I'm officially 9 months pregnant.
In just 5 more days, I will be considered full term! I'm a little nervous, but excited. So ready to not be pregnant! So ready to wear cute clothes & feel like myself again. 

I've really dropped since last week and any time I sit down she goes nuts. 
I finally ordered the diaper bag I wanted a day ago so I'm waiting on that to get here and we are ready to go! We still have to install the car seat- I guess we will do that here soon.

We had a minor scare last Friday. I went in my doctors because I couldn't get rid of my headache- which I knew was because of my blood pressure. Sure enough it was 144/88. He immediately sent me to triage to get monitored and have labs done. Of course my blood pressure was fine the entire time at the hospital & all my labs came back fine. The on call doctor said 'normal activity', but the doc I saw on Friday said bed rest- so I've just been taking it easy until Thursday when I go back and we will see what they say then. So glad everything was fine and so far- I'm not being induced again. I've been having contractions the past few weeks and the monitors were picking them up- so maybe, just maybe it'll happen soon enough, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

My house, well Rylee's bedroom & our bathroom are covered in fire ants. Not really sure why/how or where they came from. If you know what fire ants are, you know they suck when they bite you. I've spent all morning cleaning the crap out of this house to try & get rid of them. Hopefully they're gone.

Speaking of Rylee. She's a stubborn little girl who is full of drama! Yesterday she did something to her arm and wouldn't move it, crying in pain, etc. We ended up taking her to the ER because her pedi had no openings and it was pretty bad. We get there & they do an xray and nothing is fractured (which I knew because her arm wasn't swollen/red or anything.) They just said it was a sprain and sent us on our way. Well, she was in pain all night, even with meds. This morning she was still in pain and wouldn't move it so we went into the pedis. Come to find out, nothing was/is wrong. She may have bruised her elbow and that's why it hurts, but she moved her arm for the doc just fine. Come home and it's like nothing happened! Come on kid. You just cost us a huge chunk of change! 

Monday, October 15, 2012

Show & Tell; when I was 17


1. When you were 17, tell us what kind of car you drove, where you worked, and what you were usually up to on the weekends. 
 I had a 2004 Chevrolet Cavalier, sunburnt orange, to be exact. 
I stole this pic- this wasn't my car, but it looked identical to this except i had tinted windows.

I worked at ABC Pizza- where all of the cool high school kids worked. ;) It's a local restaurant.
On the weekends, I normally partied, drank & worked. Never slept. 

2. Show us a picture of you when you were 17 {roughly}.

3. When you were 17, tell us what you wanted to be when you "grew up."

I've always wanted to be a nurse. 

4. When you were 17, tell us the kind of boys that you dated. Did you have a type? Do you have a relationship you remember well? Tell us about it.
When I was 17, I was currently in a long term relationship. We dated for 5 years. From 2001-2006. He graduated the summer I was entering 9th grade. :x We lived together from 2005-2006. I thought I would marry him, have his kids & all that jazz, but things worked out differently & I'm SO incredibly glad they did. Once we split, I was a complete disaster & we tried working things out, but it just didn't work.

5. When you were 17, tell us where you pictured your life 10 years from then. Did it turn out the way you expected it to?

I pictured to have kids & be done having kids, be married (although not to the guy I'm married to now) and be a nurse.
Now? I am married- going on 3 years. I have an amazing 2 year old & another little baby on the way. I'm still working on becoming a nurse, but I will get there! 4 more semesters to go!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

35 weeks

I'm hitting the home stretch...finally. It has gone by pretty fast, but now these last few weeks seem to be dragging.

I'd be lying if I said that I'm loving this pregnancy. In fact, I'm 100% more miserable this time around. I feel so many more aches & pains it's crazy. My entire body feels like it's about to explode. All of my muscles hurt. My feet kill me to walk on them. I've gained just as much weight as I did with Rylee- except I still have 5 or so weeks to go. :/ My belly button looks like it's about to explode open.

Everyone still says that 'I look good' and maybe I do. I know it could be worse, but I'm miserable. I'm over it. I never want to be pregnant again. This entire pregnancy has been rough, not just the end. I have braxton hicks all day long. She feels like she is jumping on a nerve at all times and gives me this pain.

How's that for blunt?
 Now on the left & Rylee on the right at 35w.

I'm starting to freak a little when wondering how I'm going to split my time between 2 babies. I hear it's easier when you get a little settled, but I'll be in school until beginning of December. I'm freaking about that too. I have no motivation this semester even though it's my last one for 9 months. I'm hoping once I'm not pregnant anymore, I will feel like myself & have my energy back. I'll probably get more sleep, too.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Shutterfly giveaway

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you should know I'm a big fan of Shutterfly.

The Christmas Cards are ridiculously adorable this year! How can you resist? Since I'll be having a newborn & toddler around this year, there's no reason to wait for ordering.

Don't forget, before ordering, to check out their special offers page!

Here are a few of my favorites:

Would you like a chance to win $50 off your order? (Does not include shipping/handling & cannot be combined with any other offer.) Enter to win here. This will run from today, October 8th- Monday October 15th.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*This is a sponsored post and I have been compensated for my time & honest review. 

Look whooo's two!

Sunday my little girl turned two! I can't believe it's been two years since I laid eyes on her- crazy! We had an owl themed party & it was so fun! I don't recommend throwing a birthday party 8 months pregnant- EVER.  I am exhausted and my entire body is so sore.

I'll let the pictures do the talking. =)


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