1) If I go back to Coke it will be December 16th. I will work 9am-6pm Monday-Friday. Jeremy will take her to daycare about 6-6:30am and then pick her up around 5:30pm. I will get home around 6:30pm everyday. Then it's time to cook dinner, take a shower, bathe her, feed her and it's time for bed around 8pm. That means I will get a whooping 1-2 hours with her. What is wrong with that picture? Someone else will be raising her, not me..not the person that should. Oh, and daycare does cost $800 a month. So after paying that and paying bills I will only bring home around $100-200 a month.
2) If I can find a restaurant job I would work 3-4 days a week, 5-6 hours a night. Jeremy would watch her at night while I work and I would go to school, mainly online. Problem? No one is hiring! Literally. I have went to Chilis, Outback, Mimis Cafe, Buca Di Beppo, and Hooters with no luck. I did go back to Carrabba's the other day and he told me to come back the beginning of December, so I will try Friday and (fingers crossed) he will let me come back. I see me going back there to be the only way I can get out of going back to Coke.
I am so aggravated with him that he's telling me I have to work. We would be okay if I didn't. We would have to re-prioritize how we spend money, but we could do it. He doesn't want to back down from spending what we do and buying what we do. He could buy cheaper jeans than from Buckle (and don't mistake me, I love Buckle and every pair of jeans I have are from there, but if I have to buy cheaper ones to be able to stay home..I will.) I think if I go back to Coke I am going to hold resentment against him and I don't want to do that.
I don't trust people, maybe that's my problem. And, no, we have no one else to watch her.
He thinks life's hard now? Wait until December 16th. I don't make him get up for night feedings now because he works & I understand that, but if I go back he WILL get up every other night with her and feed her. He says "If I get up at 1am I can't go back to sleep, but you can." Yeah? Well, too bad. It's going to change here soon. You will just have to get up at 1am and stay up then, not my problem. I feel bad for being like this, but I can't help it. He doesn't know what it's like for her to wake up at 3am and not want to go back to sleep. I do all of that now. I get up and go in the living room so he can still sleep. I don't even have a concept of time anymore.
I could go on and on about this, but i'll stop now.