Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Jobs...

I'm having a really hard time dealing with the fact that I may have to go back to work. It's not that I mind working, but I do not want to put her in daycare. Here's a few scenarios:

1) If I go back to Coke it will be December 16th. I will work 9am-6pm Monday-Friday. Jeremy will take her to daycare about 6-6:30am and then pick her up around 5:30pm. I will get home around 6:30pm everyday. Then it's time to cook dinner, take a shower, bathe her, feed her and it's time for bed around 8pm. That means I will get a whooping 1-2 hours with her. What is wrong with that picture? Someone else will be raising her, not me..not the person that should. Oh, and daycare does cost $800 a month. So after paying that and paying bills I will only bring home around $100-200 a month.

or

2) If I can find a restaurant job I would work 3-4 days a week, 5-6 hours a night. Jeremy would watch her at night while I work and I would go to school, mainly online. Problem? No one is hiring! Literally. I have went to Chilis, Outback, Mimis Cafe, Buca Di Beppo, and Hooters with no luck. I did go back to Carrabba's the other day and he told me to come back the beginning of December, so I will try Friday and (fingers crossed) he will let me come back. I see me going back there to be the only way I can get out of going back to Coke.

I am so aggravated with him that he's telling me I have to work. We would be okay if I didn't. We would have to re-prioritize how we spend money, but we could do it. He doesn't want to back down from spending what we do and buying what we do. He could buy cheaper jeans than from Buckle (and don't mistake me, I love Buckle and every pair of jeans I have are from there, but if I have to buy cheaper ones to be able to stay home..I will.) I think if I go back to Coke I am going to hold resentment against him and I don't want to do that.

I don't trust people, maybe that's my problem. And, no, we have no one else to watch her.

He thinks life's hard now? Wait until December 16th. I don't make him get up for night feedings now because he works & I understand that, but if I go back he WILL get up every other night with her and feed her. He says "If I get up at 1am I can't go back to sleep, but you can." Yeah? Well, too bad. It's going to change here soon. You will just have to get up at 1am and stay up then, not my problem. I feel bad for being like this, but I can't help it. He doesn't know what it's like for her to wake up at 3am and not want to go back to sleep. I do all of that now. I get up and go in the living room so he can still sleep. I don't even have a concept of time anymore.

I could go on and on about this, but i'll stop now.

3 comments:

  1. In my opinion, the first scenario is the DUMBEST thing I've ever heard! There's absolutely no point in you working that much and only bringing home such a little amount of money, how does he not get that? That's why I never went back to work, my whole check would've gone to daycare. I hope you can find a job serving. I only work two nights and always make over $100 in a weekend.

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  2. I hope that you can find something. Rebecca is right its stupid to go back to only make that amount. Daycare is so expensive and you have to think about the extra doctors bills and crap you will get from Rylee catching all the cooties the other kids have!

    Hope it works out love.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your hours at coke are long- if you did go back there would you be able to change them at all.

    I hate when stay at home moms say they want to stay home because "I don't want someone else raising my kid." I work full time. Yet, I am also the one who raises my baby. Well- Tim & I. Just because other people watch him during the day does not mean that I don't raise him.


    But- working at Coke and being away from Rylee all day and only bringing home a little bit of money- it's not worth it.

    You also have to factor in if you did work at a restaurant and work nights, then that cuts into your time with Jeremy.

    It will work out. YOu guys need to sit down and decide together what works best for your family.

    ReplyDelete

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